When Adulting Gets Too Hard: My Journey with ADHD Burnout

Zardine explores her experience with ADHD burnout, she shares strategies for managing burnout, and self-care, while stressing the importance of self-compassion. Zardine’s story is a guide to understanding and navigating ADHD burnout while striving for recovery and well-being.

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When Adulting Gets Too Hard: My Journey with ADHD Burnout

by Zardine

Burnout. It's a word that’s thrown around a lot these days but, for many of us ADHDers, it's a constant threat looming in the background. Like many women that navigate the treacherous terrain of undiagnosed ADHD, I have been comatosed by burnout. It's a harsh wake-up call, a flashing red light from our bodies screaming for attention. But within the exhaustion lies a hidden opportunity – a chance for self-understanding. 

Burnout can be a tricky beast to recognize. Before my diagnosis, I always imagined burnout as a state of deep depression, leaving me lethargic and withdrawn. Instead, it can often feel more like being a ticking time bomb. My hyperactive symptoms go into overdrive and I become even more irritable and short-tempered than usual - the complete opposite of how I thought burnout would manifest. This is likely because I have combined type ADHD, but it also highlights how burnout can exacerbate existing symptoms.  So, while you might experience the more classic depressive symptoms,  burnout for ADHD can look quite different. Don't be fooled by the extra burst of hyperactivity – it's still your body's way of saying it's reached its limit.

Burnout, for me, has been a double-edged sword. The first crash was the wake-up call that led to my ADHD diagnosis, but the journey didn't end there as the diagnosis itself triggered a whole new kind of burnout, fueled by years of unhealed emotions and the overwhelming process of self-discovery.  This experience highlighted a key truth: ADHD burnout can manifest differently at different times in our lives.  Now, I'm on a mission to prevent future episodes by building a toolbox of coping mechanisms and cultivating fierce self-compassion. It's a lifelong journey, but I'm determined to navigate the twists and turns with newfound self-awareness.

So how do I cope with burnout now?  

The truth is, I'm still figuring it out.  Burnout, for me, seems to be a combination of factors, often triggered by unhappiness or stress in a particular area of my life.

Here are some things that have helped me navigate the burnout trenches:

• Basic Needs: as simple as it sounds, prioritise getting enough regular, restful sleep, staying hydrated, and eating nutritious meals. These fundamental needs provide the foundation for your body and mind to heal and rebuild resilience. While cooking might not be your favorite activity (thinking about meals, shopping, and later being repulsed by what you chose 3 days prior) there are healthy takeaway options that can help. Look for places with pre-made salads, grilled proteins, whole grain bowls, or healthy wraps. Frozen meals can also be a lifesaver – choose options with minimal processing and don’t be ashamed to buy pre-chopped vegetables such as onions, carrots and garlic, to cut down on preparation time. 

• Movement: Fresh air and exercise are a must for my well-being. There's something incredibly therapeutic about a long walk in nature, tears or no tears, with some emotion-inducing music. I never have the motivation for exercise when experiencing a period of burnout, but I could walk for miles. Trees and plants promote the production of chemicals shown to reduce stress hormones, boost mood, and improve focus, so get your kicks on and head to a local park for a dose of nature's medicine.

• Self-care: This looks different for everyone. For me, it means spending hours filing and painting my nails and taking two hot soaks in the baths per day. On the flip-side, if that means being a gremlin for 4 days drifting in and out of sleep, then so be it. The key is to listen to your body and indulge in guilt-free pampering. Just make sure you don’t start to ruminate. We’re connecting, not neglecting. 

• Regulate your nervous system: Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as tapping, can be a powerful tool for regulating your nervous system and reducing stress. Tapping involves gently stimulating specific acupressure points while focusing on your specific emotions or challenges. There are many free EFT resources available online, including guided videos to help you get started. I have found it so much more helpful than silent meditation which can often leave me feeling worse due to my inability to calm my mind when I'm experiencing burnout. 

• Finding your voice: Getting diagnosed empowered me to advocate for myself. It's an ongoing process, but I'm learning to communicate my needs and challenges. If you are experiencing a period of burnout then communicate that to your helper* if you’re lucky enough to have one and get an action plan that they can pull from to help you get back on track. 

• Be kind to yourself: Shame is a big part of the ADHD experience and can make you want to scratch your skin off. Acknowledge your pain, forgive yourself for any past meltdowns and embrace the journey of self-discovery. One helpful strategy can be to practice journaling positive affirmations.  Writing down things you appreciate about yourself, even small things, can help shift your mindset and create a more positive outlook.

• Time is Your Ally: Recovery from ADHD burnout takes time. It's not an overnight process or a sudden "eureka" moment. But with consistent effort and self-compassion, you will gradually start to feel a little better each day. This is a steady walk towards regaining your energy and focus, and with each step, you'll be building a more sustainable foundation for your well-being.

ADHD burnout can be incredibly tough, and it's normal to feel discouraged or even ashamed during this time. But remember, ADHD is a complex neurodevelopmental condition, and it's not your fault. Be kind to yourself throughout this recovery process. With some self-awareness, a toolbox of coping mechanisms, and a little kindness, you can reclaim your life and thrive.

*Helper: a friend, parent, teacher, therapist, coach, or any other individual who helps you  manage your ADHD symptoms.